Protect Your Cup

I am now a self-proclaimed fierce protector of “my cup”. A cup has become the universal symbol for self love and personal energy preserves. We’ve all heard the saying you can’t pour from an empty cup. While this may be true, that awareness hasn’t stopped us all from trying. We pour from our cups all day – a bit into our careers, a portion to our family, and a dash to housework. All too often we’re left with an empty cup, yet we still have daily tasks that require something of us. A toddler needs to be tucked (back) into bed, dishes are overflowing, toys scatter the floor, and you still haven’t paid the phone bill. Somewhere along the way we miscalculated the balance in our energy bank. We are notorious for overestimating how much we can give to others (can I get an AMEN?).

What are we to do when our cup runs dry, but we must keep running our lives? We make substitutions. When you have to give something, but you have nothing left to give, you must improvise. You’ll reach for anything to keep you afloat – just for today. “Just for today” turns into days, then weeks, and from there a habit is born. Just like *snaps* THAT.

With the best of intentions we create habits out of desperation. Maybe we start turning to wine to cope with stress or we look for an afternoon energy surge from candy. We ALL have our “quick fix vices” as I like to call them. Enough of these habits will lead you to a lifestyle of putting junk in your cup and trying to pass it off as your own pure energy. But let’s be real – we all know when we’re putting junk out to the universe in hopes of slipping under the radar.

As if our children aren’t intuitive enough to notice when we’re utterly depleted.

As if our spouses can’t see the dullness in our eyes.

Why is it so hard to simply pause, refill, and resume? I don’t have a clear answer to that question, but the first word that comes to my mind is guilt. As a mother I struggle with the guilt of caring for myself DAILY. For me, I think it’s because self-care involves a great deal of stillness. I visualize motherhood as cloud of chaos swirling above my head, as if a tornado had picked up the whole damn house. When I pause for stillness it feels as if the spinning of that cloud will stop with me, and then it will all come crashing down. That’s quite the burden to bear – feeling that your entire household will literally fall out of the sky if you take a moment to recharge your soul. What an unrealistic and unnecessary pressure to inflect on ourselves!

Look – I’m no expert in self-care. Two weeks ago I called my mom on the verge of tears because I “wasted the day” taking a long nap after dropping Ellie at school on my day off. Then I called my best friend because I needed more than one person to remind me that taking care of yourself is NEVER a waste of time. In fact, it’s the single most productive thing you can do.

It’s taken me nearly a year to get comfortable with self-care. Here’s a few tips/ideas that have helped along the way:

• There is enough time and space for it ALL (I heard this mantra in a yoga class years ago. I repeat it to myself whenever I get overwhelmed with responsibilities)
• Remove/Replace habits that no longer serve you.
• Prioritize your life and give energy accordingly. (What you choose to prioritize is personal, but for the love of god please put your own health at the top of that list!)
• Your reaction to situations dictates how much energy you waste. (Be stingy with your cup! Save that energy for the items at the top of your priority list.)
• What other people think of your is none of your business.
• Odds are, nobody but you even cares about *insert thing you’re stressing about unnecessarily here*
• A full cup = A full life

One more note about self-care and filling your cup. Sometimes it’s hard work. Sometimes we need to give ourselves a bit of tough love in order to release old habits and form new ones. Have grace with yourself and be patient. Just like squeezing the delicious juice from an orange, sometimes you have to really squeeze for a drop of revitalization. It’s worth it. YOU are worth it!

I’d love to hear your thoughts! Comment Below with your favorite ways to refill your own cup! What self-care habits make you feel most energized and happy? Do you have any old habits that no longer serve you?

Until next time, with love and gratitude, Kels