Only you can control your emotions. My dad has a lot of mantras that he lives by…that he’s passed down to me. This one is by far my favorite. As I’ve grown this advice has guided me like a compass, pointing me back toward my higher self. In times of stress I close my eyes and remember *Deep breath…count to 10…only you control your emotions“. Knowing that I, and only I, can choose my emotions gives me a sense of control in a world that often makes me feel powerless (I’m looking at you, 2020).
When you think about it, our emotions hold ALL of the power. Your reaction to a situation creates your reality in the present moment. Today, for example, I dropped my phone while on a family walk and the screen cracked in several places. I initially reacted with intense disappointment/frustration with myself for not having a case on it. Within a few seconds, however, I remembered that disappointment and frustration wouldn’t serve me well. The screen was already cracked – being in a bad mood for the rest of the day wouldn’t change that. I could choose to carry those negative emotions with me for the remainder of my day, or I could recenter myself and let it go. By controlling my emotions in that moment I created a more positive reality.
That being said, I know we can’t control our circumstances. Life is constantly throwing curve balls and we’ll inevitably be knocked off balance from time to time. BUT choosing your emotions does get easier with practice. It’s human nature to accept your first reaction to a tough situation. Your spouse says something hurtful and you’re angry about it – period. When negativity swells within you try pausing and asking yourself “Is this how I want to feel right now? What is a more positive response that I can have in this moment?”
You likely won’t be able to shift your energy from rage to optimism (that would be a huge jump in the scale below), but perhaps you can move from rage to discouragement. The next time that situation arises maybe you can move from discouragement to worry, then from worry to disappointment. In the earlier example of your spouse saying something hurtful, over time you may find yourself defaulting to worry vs. anger (He’s been stressed at work lately which explains why he’s being grumpy – I worry he’s not taking care of himself).
It’s important to note here that we shouldn’t ignore how we’re feeling or try to force ourselves into a happier mindset if we’re not ready to move there. Let your emotions wash over you like a wave, for as many waves as you need. When you feel ready, however, work your way up this scale toward love and joy. Every emotional response that you have is like an energetic boomerang, ensuring that vibration comes right back to you. It’s my hope that you choose to throw more positive boomerangs for yourself.
